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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Lizards Have Personalities

by Lizards Have Personalities

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1.
Mononoke 03:31
we've wasted the most beautiful sceneries poisoned the oceans polluted the sky spat at the sinking soil eradicated species but the ends don't justify the means mother Earth unleash your fury rally the troops summon the plague charge the trenches demolish the village leave no prisoners there is no escape we destroy that which gives us life without blinking an eye no sympathy no remorse no mercy this isn't a cycle it's a slaughter combat this devolution ignite the revolution we are a disease with only one cure [kill the humans! save the forest!]
2.
Eta Carinae 02:40
mold my flesh with your finger tips replace this polluted air with your breaths this is our moment in time brief and delicate but elegant this has no purpose but that's what makes it perfect though absent of speech we said everything with just an embrace a prolonged gaze bathing in the light of stars long since burnt out peel my flesh with your finger tips sink your teeth into me before I wake up from this dream
3.
I did not consent to existence I am not content with existing yet I'm so scared of death so why am I so obsessed? I'm terrified of life so why even try? I am an accident I'm a mistake I'm insignificant I am a waste I'm just a grain of sand on one beach of one ocean on one planet I am a hypocrite I am a fake I'm insignificant I am a waste I'm just a bag of bones sulking, sleeping and shitting life away and that's all I'll ever be my thread wasn't spun quite the way it should've been
4.
sleeping on hardwood floors to avoid familiar scents sketching dreams for a sign that anything holds meaning [routine regret relapse] I shoved my fist down my throat [routine regret relapse] force fed myself false hope [routine regret relapse] my stomach rejected the sight of it [routine regret relapse] I threw up blood but refuse to quit I'm obsessed with a reoccurring dream the one in which you slaughter me that hubristic smirk on your face leaves me wanting more, needing more if I am but a pawn in this game I'm honorably bestowed that fate consider me an unyielding slave I'm yours forever, my Liege
5.
I'm held hostage by my own flesh I peel it off but it scabs up quickly I'm weighed down by my own bones I sand them to dust but they're twice as heavy I'm suffocated by my own lungs I cough them up but they crawl back in me I'm disgusted by my own thoughts I black them out but they return swiftly I miss the sting of your hands around my throat the stench of your spit on my face the mock of your laugh when I speak I need the pang of sex in my veins friction scars covering my knees I'm addicted to love that is fake I'm not sure I'm still me but I am sure I don't care I've tasted sweat I've bathed in it and I am sure I'm sold the spindle fell off its axis hence the miscalculation it sunk through the Earth like a casket my thread is far too long I doused my soul in acid it wept as the noose tightened around it I grinned at its plight for redemption my thread is far too long
6.
rusty nails in my flesh paint thinner on my breath shards of glass in my teeth barbed wire around my neck black widows in my bed methods to induce sleep I amputated my arms but they grew back just to spite me you decapitated my head but were surprised to see it smirking I sewed my heart to my sleeve so you could watch it beating you held it in your palm and crushed it without blinking I'm not sure which one of us is the monster lets play a game called 'how over dramatic and self-loathing can I fucking be?' we're both waiting for me to die and last night I saw a shooting star can you guess on what I wished for? how long will it take to replace me? forget my face, erase me exorcise those memories slit the throat of our history you can do anything that you want just don't pretend to miss me when I'm gone
7.
I prefer the sensation of discomfort to almost anything I can name or speak of lately I'm a struggling insect smeared beneath boots severed limbs flailing, detached from their roots others would whimper but I'm calmly mute dizzy from blood loss but blissful in truth soaking up sun rays longing for evaporation scorched upon asphalt my middle name is desperation the tingle of disintegration addictions that I've yet to shake this exoskeleton aches to be dust bathing in star light demanding for swift transpiration tangled in silk webs haunted by the realization euphoric as the fangs sink in a craving that just can't be faked this abdomen begs to be pierced drowning in desire lusting for vaporization clinging to carnage I refute this respiration anxious for extermination obsessed with this imminent fate in time these limbs will severe themselves there is no life left to drain from me
8.
I have no motivation to carry on I force my conversations a connoisseur of faking smiles keeping distance from the people that misjudge me I keep distance from everybody I wish I could be a naive child again the weight of the world didn't crush me then I accepted life no, I welcomed it but I've grown up I've opened my eyes [I see no light, no savoir] I've accepted my fate [I'm not afraid] cut the thread!
9.
Eurynomus 08:14
10.
Tartarus 11:07
I try to piece myself together but solemn memories slip through inept fingers objects trigger a response just out of reach always desiring the intangible so why am I still surprised to fail? hyperalgesia bed sheets against skin another barricade another excuse to hide another night counting seconds with clenched fists concealing regrets and force fed 'it's not your faults' but I know it is staring at the same ceiling from four years ago so nostalgic, romanticizing depression repeating the words: "I'm piss. I'm shit. I'm less than nothing." the only thing I'm certain of is I'm uncertain of everything so secure in my insecurities blasé to the sunrise and pigments in eyes that once warmed my heart accustom to frosty breath, awkward smiles and apathetic last words time transforms friends into lovers into acquaintances into strangers and I forget my own name waiting on storms that never passed so many wasted nights drawing interstates over veins that led to nowhere panic attacks bringing laughter, broken mirrors and holes in the wall objects trigger a response just out of reach but here I am with my arms stretched out, still reaching though this world is depressing and unbearable I cannot simply fly away for I am not a bird I spent endless years sculpting wings from feathers and wax but as with Icarus they melted away at the first sign of light so I retreat to the dark, awaiting redemption though I'm not an angel I'm quite the contrary death still terrifies me I'm broken, I'm weary maybe one day I'll find solace in seclusion but for now I'm just struggling to carry on despite this disease I've been peeling off my flesh in my sleep biting through my tongue when I speak clawing at my eyes, ripping out my own heart I've been grinding down my teeth while I dream licking the shine off blades when I scream severing my throat, coughing up my own lungs I've been picking at my brain in my sleep downing chloroform when I speak sawing off my nails, throwing up my own blood I've been sanding down my bones while I dream chewing shards of glass when I scream pulling out my spine, gnawing at own arms out of boredom depression disgust desperation out of anxiety obsession isolation clichés [the thread's been spun, measured and cut] I'm a ghost feasting on remains no one wants [the thread's been spun, measured and cut] I'm a phantom whispering through the walls the stench of my own rotting corpse is lulling me to sleep

credits

released July 29, 2014

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this is our adieu. <3

mae m. - skramz vox/guitar/drums
paul w. - hxc vox/bass

recorded/mixed/mastered by mae m.

art by the amazing dominic sohor: www.dominicsohor.com

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